Mother's Day special

 Since Mother's Day is around the corner and everyone is sharing their stories, it reminds me to articulate mine, which is indeed surreal, purest, and ecstatic. Not technically a mommy but Masi, as Didi says ''Mons you are MAA-si.'' No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to compete with her when it comes to emotional captions because She is just best at it.  

Our first beach trip together

Last year, on May 1, my sister gave born to this miraculous boy, who had just changed everything around and they named him, "Advik". I clearly remember, my mom called me in the evening, saying, Mons congrats you became Masi and instantly I started crying. Why? I do not know...may be out of love, or maybe because I was emotionally overwhelmed. But I must admit that I missed being there...I was not there with my Didi but I knew she missed me there,even though she never mentioned it because that is her. Whatever she feels, it is always in her heart. She will shower her love in the purest form of sarcasm only.  

I love being around kids so before meeting Advik, I felt like that Okay! it would be the same as the other kids. Nothing is different. But my Masi told me once,'' Being humble around kids is okay, but being Masi to such a happiest soul will hit differently once you hold him into your arms.'' I just ignored Masi's thought as I felt that Masi was being so optimistic.  

After 3 months, when the doctor allowed Didi to travel with a child, Didi came to Delhi, and I visited them for the first time after Advik. I bought a penguin and some goodies; I was smiling but deep down I was thinking what if he will not react to me? Will he recognize me or not? I was googling what precautions one must take before an infant and whatnot. Scared as hell... The moment I saw him, it indeed hit differently or as similar as my Masi told me. And my Didi being my Didi, told me what are you waiting for? Hold him in your arms. And other people are asking, will he react to her or not? I was under extreme pressure or hopeless may be, cuz I was feeling how can he reactat me when he is seeing me for the first time. But, the moment Didi said, ''See Advik, Masi is here.'' He turned slightly and smiled and smiled and smiled and that made me cry a little. Those were tears of happiness that yes, he knew me. What made him recognize my touch, I do not know but after that, He became my top priority. The moment he appears, I just close everything, and my all attention is his.  

I connect with kids but in this case, it is both ways. This kid is also connected with me. As they westernized the care and love into babysitting, I love doing that. Feeding to changing diapers, singing him his favorite Baby Hippo and rhymes, obeying all his instructions, and many more. I am always available, even in the early morning or at midnight.  

One more thing that healed in the process is, "the relationship which I share with my Didi." As sisters, we did have a lot of disagreements and whatnot. But As Advik's Masi, all I want to give her body and mind, A break from this routine. I have seen her, struggling, and juggling with motherhood. some days are tough for her, so many sleepless nights, and sometimes Advik gets cranky so no matter how busy she is, all her attention will be on him only. She is so attentive to his food, his activities, his sleeping cycles, and his vaccination. She read a lot about recent research about everything and then everyone says that oh, Smriti's parenting is best. But what about her, her mental health, her body changes, her health, and the balance she must make between her child and her Job? The fact remains,'' We do not choose motherhood, it chooses us.'' It is everyday learning, and my Didi is a fast learner that is why, Advik is the most positive soul to be around. 

But Advik with Masi is a vastly different game. Everyone enjoys our interaction, especially the parents. Advik feels that Masi is as equal as her. Hence, Masi must follow Advik's instructions. From the moment he woke up to the moment when he sleep, if I am there, I must be around him, pampering him, doing activities he likes, and talking to him on silly topics. Sometimes he giggles, and sometimes he rolls his eyes, but I am not allowed to be still. These are not the important things to do at this point, as I am an aspirant who is trying to succeed, but these random things with Advik and my family healed me. I was living in deep darkness and in self-doubt, Advik's presence made me realize that being his masi is everything. Even if I do not achieve it, I will still be his Masi. Life is not a waste at all and the best learning is ,'' For achieving your goal, you do not need to be isolated,rather connect with your family who motivates you to not give up and encourages you to be a better person, every day.''  

Now, he is 1, and growing every day so does my bond with him. Now, he understands my presence and even gave me a unique name,'' MoMo''. I love being called MoMo. For me, this is motherhood. because when he smiles, I feel peace. and when he cried, I cried my heart out. When he was hungry, I instantly ran to the kitchen to make his breakfast and just fed him. I made him sleep,sometimes he sleeps in 20 minutes and sometimes it takes more than an hour but the moment he sleeps into my arms, peacefully; that is motherhood for me.  

Everyone's narrative is so different than mine because they felt the pain of bringing a soul into the world, which I do not know, yet. But by making a child your priority, for him, you will leave everything behind, isn't it motherhood also?  

I am a person who barely cries but whenever I had to leave, and I looked at him, it made me cry. It made me cry when I missed his first puja and his first birthday. Advik as your name dictates, '' Noone is like you.'' Thank you for choosing me as your Masi. I promise I will try to be the best version of myself, for you. 

My first and favorite picture.